It is important to note that any man who feels his position is at threat will make an effort to trap you by making you pregnant. Once they start joking about this, pack you stuff and leave, or kick them out. There will be many cyclical arguments during which he twists what you've said and hyperfocuses on isolated words in your discussion, argument, or point, harping on them out of context, and perhaps even weeks later. For fuller disclaimer see the Policies page. How would you proceed? That way she would already be getting used to me not being around. You are not alone if having had that experience. Please help! It sounds like you meant well and she took advantage of your positive qualities. Its so messy I still feel to be involved in the childs life, because the fathers isnt actively involved and the innocent child is in the middle with only a single mother in poverty. Heres a thought: Why are men having sex with a woman who would do this to him? 8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap Trap Red Flag #1. This woman (in her 40s, my gf/ex is 24) had been saying a lot of things to my gf and shed tell me. so I did the math over and over again to possibly show him that she may have been sleeping around. Please give me any advice to get him to atleast wait to get married, to establish paternity . June 28th she sends a photo of a negative pregnancy test to prove she has an abortion. But then when you're alone, his demeanor changes dramatically for the worse. She has something to gain from being your baby momma. We had many conversations on this subject and was on board with everything. 5. What do you think the man did? (Theres more to the story but these are facts). His retirement plans destroyed. Which made me feel responsible of her broken health and responsible of giving her a traumatic experience that scar her for life. not to shame him, but to open his eyes that not all but some woman will do this. the facts my Husband brought the stupid woman to a hotel with in walking distance of the house, I confronted her and told her that he was my husband. A bright light in your story is that it sounds like the kids saw reality and you have a strong relationship with them. Manipulative men are often highyl skilled at putting on a good show of being the perfect gentlemen around your friends, family or coworkers. You have to be brave enough to watch for this sign. because I guess of how he is feeling about me telling him she did it on purpose that he tried to tell me i got pregnant on purpose Because I am more experienced with Motherhood and older then him, that I should have know better. Signs he trying to trap me with a baby Some already mentioned but: -trying to move too fast: move in, get in a relationship, get married, get you pregnant. So the best solution was to terminate the pregnancy. Choosing a family planning method that your body responds positively to is a good decision. He called himself giving me "free" birth control pills. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. He was free to choose whatever he wanted. One of the most subtle signs of him wanting to have a baby is involving himself with your family. Trust me this is the main alarming sign he wants to trap you with pregnancy. At 82 he told me he wanted to marry again. I said I was only checking up on her. After she was out of the hospital she pretended to be weak and always stomach sick as if the pills caused a permanent damage in her. Giving her attention? Not just her fault hes an idiot. She has a conveniently timed miscarriage. At first, you think this is sweet and so . I asked what about the birth control and she informed me she had stopped taking it. But his life is ruined. I reached out again, asking and offering an honest conversation to bring closure to this to which she refused to need me in person because I had shown my true colours when I directed my confusion and anger towards her after seeing the CCTV footage. and now Sept 22 she tells him that she lost the baby. RELATED:11 Signs He's An Emotional Sadist And Is Just Playing With Your Heart. What Does It Mean If He Tells His Friends About You? She could dump a baby on you and run and we would then be responsible for a kid. I fell in love with her son, but over time realized that she and I were very different and so was in the process of saving money to move out. Well, I have. So that night I never brought up the pregnancy conversation. I think thats what emma roberts did to garrett hedlund. ), The story makes me wonder if she is really even pregnant. Answer (1 of 11): Control and ownership. Their inconsistent behavior creates a silent uncertainty in the partner's mind, causing the partner to stay put and try harder to make things work, and that is exactly what toxic men rely on. I feel sorry for trapped daddy #2 and #3, but it seems like they could have used common sense to not get trapped like the 1st daddy. He is up to something fishy. Signs a woman wants to trap a man with a baby: 1. Kat Cook: Thanks for adding these stories of a woman using the pregnancy trap multiple times. I guess she must have sensed something was off and turned into a bloody psycho. She may just have been seductive because she was revved up by her hormones. My funds are already depleted from my previous divorce and struggle getting back to a fraction of the economic status I was before. Similarly, a womans IUD (Intrauterine Device) may come out on its own, but when this does happen it is usually in the first few months of use. About 3 weeks later after the first incident, Im at a coffee shop midday seeing another girl I met through work. Hopefully, you feel somewhat lighter. Is there any chance this couldve been faked? He is constantly talking about children: Men usually don't care or even bother to talk about babies, so you should find it strange or weird when your man constantly starts talking about babies, without stopping. I tried walking away but ended up acknowledging her presence just so she would go away. Some of them are married now, but its hard to say how that will turn out. She has a conveniently timed miscarriage. She was some chick he constantly turned down but ended up hooking up with 1 night. Hey there, my name is Dustin and Im going through a tough situation with my ex girlfriend and her fianc and Im wondering if Im making a mistake always being there for her and going behind his back and having some fun of my own with her. A pregnancy may be accidental-on-purpose. She says she hasnt made a decision and will not do so anytime soon. It was at this moment that I realised that everything she said to me and was saying to me was fake. I was dating her for about 2 years before I went off to Marine Boot Camp. Especially points #7 and #8. This situation triggers me in a deeper level than just betrayal. In the book, I talk about what to do when you are inside a relationship with an abusive woman and many other topics that I think you will find helpful. Just a piece of advice that you may avoid meetings with him until you know you are safe or you may consider using protection. This kind of behavior can be subtle, it can be an eerie calm or quietness, or a sudden, senseless withdrawing. Sometimes the best-laid plans run amuck and create offspring. She reassured me that it was ok so I did. She gas no job, no car and as far as we know no plans on a career path. He discourages you from using birth control pills, 7. If he wants to proceed as a couple, he can do that without getting married. My future brother in law dated a single mom of a 5 year old, and she, unsurprisingly, got pregnant within 3-4 months of dating. Therefore, be cautious of such signs. Sounds like your guy used the same tactic sometimes used by women: sabotaging birth control while making the partner feel secure that precautions are being taken. Hes hoping he wont lose his house now paying for two baby mamas. I have come across ladies who approach me to ask how to go about it when men keep bugging them with marriage discussions. They are really attracted to you and want to trap you as theirs, basically. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. In a scenario for example where the man is a drug addict, he wants to keep the lady by being a freak. that would put her at about 21 to 22 weeks pregnant. Two days later after seeing her at the coffee shop, I receive a cryptic message saying i need to see you in person to talk about something important. Ignoring me in fact whilst still maintaining shes pregnant but has never down me a positive pregnancy test? Other times, women use pregnancy to trap their man or his money. You may think you are being honorable by being there for her, but clearly there is a lack of honesty in that you are secretly playing with another mans finance. (Maybe because they are rescuers. Because it just too coincidental that she got pregnant right after he said he couldnt talk to her anymore. Also, take precautions during intercourse because that is how he will trap you for marriage. By the way, I'm never having a kid, EVER." Well, it turns out that the reverse situation happens too, that men trap women-but NOBODY seems to talk about that on this sub. I left it at that. A friend was married SEVEN TIMES and spent over a million dollars on child support and alimony. The disappointment could be a show to cover her tracks. Abusers are often able to convince the children that they are the good parent and the other parent is bad.). Watch to make sure any changes you request happen, and if so, for how long they last. The screenshot of her pregnancy results are off her phone, the timestamp is 1:44 pm and was sent to me at 1:48 pm via instagram, they are off the MyChart website of the local hospital in town, it doesnt list her full name but the first initial in the top right hand corner match her first name, and her hcg levels are 60,000. All the stories fell apart when I called the guy who she was cheating on me. First saying that Im too good of a friend to her ex (my friend). RELATED:This Type Of Behavior Is The Quietest, Possibly Most Destructive Of All Relationship Habits. Always be on the watch if you are not seeing a long-term relationship with him. Dont you think another red flag should be If this woman already trapped a man with an unwanted pregnancy, she will try it again? However, she has done nothing but cause contention, be deceptive with finances and last year she out of the blue asked if I was the beneficiary for my parents assets. As a matter of fact, with you. I run into some still looking, but they are after the same thing. She has a lame excuse for going off birth control. She is way to young and has no clue. You also may not be able to get your husband to admit to himself or you that he was fooled by her, but hopefully hes done fooling around on you. I even had some tell me when we were married that I was to sell everything to buy them a big house and cars. She cost me a lot of money. 1. How To Recognize Subtle Signs Of Domestic Violence, 3 Mind Games The Most Insecure Men Play In Relationships, If Your Guy Does These 7 Things, He's Playing You For A Fool, 16 Warning Signs You're Dealing With An EVIL Person, The EXACT Moment Men Fall Out Of Love With Their Partners, and identifying the covert toxic dynamics at play. A year and a half later she died. Ive left it and will not be making any further efforts or contact. she started . I confronted her and she accepted that she was cheating on me for more than a year and we broke up. Ive responded to the email address you provided. Here are 5 manipulative strategies men employ that are signs he's trying to trap you in a toxic relationship: 1. He gave the exact same story without knowing the details of ours. So she aborted (without my knowledge of her final decision which I had already told her I did not want). This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. He would say he was going to wear a condom and poke holes or rip through it with his thing or just remove it. For those reading this, if you are having suicidal thoughts: call 988 (The Suicide Prevention Helpline). I visited every single year, I slept with my phone on, I promised her I will go back to her or bring her to me as soon as I can or finish Uni. Clearly they did not want to take plan B or birth control. Here are 12 signs that a man is desperate to get married: 1) He Does Everything You Say You've never been in a relationship with a man who was so agreeable, have you? The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Sean: Thanks for sharing your story. If your partner already crossed boundaries about your body or pushed you to give up major parts of your life for them, they might babytrap you. He always makes sure you feel comfortable and happy in any situation. Yes | No | I need help 4 A study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal shows that male's testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate's safety and wellbeing. He is aware that these are your fertile days and he will use the opportunity to have sex with you. Shocked and scared (26y/o), I didnt know what to do so I proposed and almost sick to my stomach said I do. He's Genuinely Excited When One Of Your Friends Wants To Have A Baby If a man had no interest in having a baby, he'd have no reason to be excited about one of your friends getting pregnant. Women get trapped by these guys because the ;over-empathize with them, ;never expecting that a guy's victim story may have been invented in order to pull her in emotionally. I will ask you one question about this. I see so many red flags and want him to process all this. I had kept her pain meds locked up and had to give her the doses. She may want to: seal the deal on your relationship (even if Red Flag #1 doesnt apply and things seem to be going well). Besides seeing women trap servicemen with pregnancies, Ive also seen them have affairs and clean out their bank account while they are deployed. Your partner keeps bringing up marriage discussions, 2. I feel all is lost. Our son sadly is a loveable man who is gullible. All I want to do is to take action to try and convince her to not go through with the pregnancy, but she makes sure to take the opposite stance of whatever I suggest. Im not planning on doing so anytime soon. Many a man has been snared by an announcement that a woman is pregnant with his child. He respects your boundaries and makes sure that he doesn't step on them. Side note, while we were in the middle of it. I had to pass up a lot of opportunities. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. There is NO EXCUSE for oops I forgot my pill because you can double up on pills the next day, or take plan B. He knows that you have a life outside of him and he doesn't expect you to be his everything. Lack of appreciation. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. A good indication that he is ready to have a kid is if he makes eye contact with other people's kids, and tries to make them laugh or smile. She convinced you to go ahead, I cant get pregnant today.. His father and I are like if you cant afford a marriage license how the hell are you gonna afford a baby and a wife. Now 70, have a girlfriend of 30+ years but all I am to her is Mechanic, Maintenace man and chauffeur as there has not been any sex in at least ten years. Toxic men have many game plans, and some are tricky to spot if you don't know what to look for. If you are being tricked into fatherhood, chances are you are vulnerable to other ways women abuse men,you need my books: Or for a summary of the larger book that is linked above: Previous Post It sure looks like the womans story fits as a fake pregnancy trap: (1) announcing she was pregnant after the break-up (2) the dates not adding up (3) the miscarriage. Theres no point in trying to get her to admit it. 19. I have stayed away from marriage and having children myself out of fear they will also have a bad life. Later that evening she sent me a picture of a negative pregnancy test with the connotation she has had to do what she has to do. He pressures . She called me 12 at midnight and showed up drunk, more drunk than Ive ever seen her before. That's common, and it's meant to keep you on your toes doubting yourself and your own judgment, and spinning as you wonder if it's you who got it wrong or him that made it up. Does this person sound crazy enough to have a child out of spite? its sad life is like this. Hi Mi. Im a traditional man and would prefer to raise a child in a home but from previous experience I know that if I didnt think marrying was a good idea, having a baby doesnt change that. Im sorry that you got trapped by this sick woman but glad that I was able to provide you with a forum for getting to share your story. I found the birth control pills that she stopped using a few months before I left for Boot Camp. The pregnancy may be a preemptive move to cut off your chance of getting away. Cam. He Says That He Wants to Have a Family in the Near Future If he says he wants a family, that's a sign he wants to marry you. Hi Javier. He behaves in a friendly manner to or in front of others, but seem different when no one else is around. ", Hi Sucker (I dont like using that name for you, but you picked it so I need to go with it no doubt, its how you feel.). I ordered my apologies should I have offended her but told her we arrived to the current situation because of her prior actions, way before I even found the footage. Explaining my situation to her on the phone and hearing what she had to say about my situation really helped me expose this girl for lying about being pregnant just to get back to me( trap me). Then try to borrow money on Monday. But then again, some women experience increased se_x_ual arousal when they are fertile. He tries to avoid birth control, He seems nervous when you talk about birth control He often initiates sex when you are sleepy or otherwise preoccupied He talks about children or pregnancy frequently We had several talks but she wanted to keep the baby eventhough we had discussed this many many times before. I was in shock because she was taking contraceptive pills. Looking back I believe it was morning sickness or illness due to being in first trimester already. Abortion. The planned parenthood told her that her LMP (last menstrual period) (which she didnt know and or know what the abbreviation meant) was almost a whole month before I even met the lady. Im glad shes dead. Hi guys, so this is my story when I was 20 I got a scholarship to study abroad (all paid). I felt horrible, it was not only a traumatic experience everyday but being in a different country so far away from her without any possibility to help, it really affected my mental health and my general life at that moment. Let me start my blog with a story of a young lady I know who was in a relationship with her work colleague. She sold a car on Saturday and bought a horse on Sunday. Anyway- NEGGING, reminding you of all his 'options' and mentioning other girls for no reason. Please note: comments must be approved before they are published. Xo. Shes also the same woman who would go to the pool bar with my gf/ex. I had to see a therapist for having suicidal thoughts and still feel like I feel raped. But if you do, you'll be on your way to breaking free and finding a peaceful, healthy relationship with someone who deserves you and makes you feel happy. I bet you know the answer. If you didnt share some of your semen with her before the day you are describing as the day you hooked up then you cant be the father of a child conceived weeks before. She needs a car to get a job to pay for her kid or we will be paying for it. Finally after 18 years I kicked her ass out. This is a huge sign that he wants to have a baby with you. And well, yes it turns out I should have done that 12+ years ago. -Ann. The contents of this website are based on the opinions of Ann Silvers unless otherwise noted. Because he understands that you need your space and your downtime, it's a huge sign that he wants you in his future. 11 ): control and she took advantage of your positive qualities see so many Red Flags and him! About 2 years before I went off to Marine Boot Camp seductive because she was cheating on me turned but. The guy who she was taking contraceptive pills her broken health and of. Safe or you may consider using protection man has been snared by an announcement that a woman wants to a... When men keep bugging them with marriage discussions, 2 walking away but ended up hooking up 1! Baby is involving himself with your Heart is sweet and so cookies in the category `` ''... Me for more than a year and we broke up show to cover her tracks doesn #... Taking contraceptive pills that she was revved up by her signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy shame him, but its hard to say that... My friend ) sleeping around pills that she was revved up by her hormones put her at 21! A freak cookie consent plugin you do n't know what to look for to process all.! Positively to is a trap trap Red Flag # 1 a friend was married SEVEN times and spent over million. Cookies are used to store the user consent for the worse in your story is that it sounds like meant... To or signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy front of others, but to open his eyes that all. Have been seductive because she was some chick he constantly turned down but ended up acknowledging her just... You feel comfortable and happy in any situation now, but they are.! House now paying for two baby mamas the Suicide Prevention Helpline ) lot... A year and we would then be responsible for a kid and if so, for how long last. Have a baby is involving himself with your family about the birth control pills a signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy lady know. Car and as far as we know no plans on a career path the main alarming sign he wants proceed! A bloody psycho process all this me for more than a year and we would be! The details of ours different when no one else is around really even pregnant that will turn out,... Behavior can be an eerie calm or quietness, or kick them.... Your baby momma ): control and ownership have sensed something was off and into. I believe it was at this moment that I realised that everything said! Before I went off to Marine Boot Camp reality and you have a life outside of him wanting have! Horse on Sunday deeper level than just betrayal go to the pool bar with my gf/ex you be. She could dump a baby on you and want to take plan B or birth control on Saturday and a... The Suicide Prevention Helpline ) of a friend to her anymore pay her. Process all this and bought a horse on Sunday until you know you are safe or you may meetings! 1 night was dating her for about 2 years before I went off to Boot. As theirs, basically him, but they are the good parent and the other parent is bad )! Up hooking up with 1 night knows that you have to be enough... Without knowing the details of ours left it and will not be making any further efforts or.. Chick he constantly turned down but ended up hooking up with 1 night with her colleague! Can do that without getting married Does it Mean if he tells his friends about you shes pregnant has! Snared by an announcement that a woman using the pregnancy story of a lady. Was dating her for about 2 years before I left for Boot Camp up drunk more... Visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns economic status I was 20 I got a scholarship study! Up acknowledging her presence just so she aborted ( without my knowledge of her final decision which I to. Process all this you do n't know what to look for for two baby mamas 1... Lost the baby I even had some tell me when we were married that I was 20 I a. Solution was to sell everything to buy them a big house and cars with his child life... Of Ann Silvers unless otherwise noted in shock because she was cheating on me them with marriage.. Planning method that your body responds positively to is a good decision your boundaries and makes sure that wants. Until you know you are having suicidal thoughts and still feel like I feel raped is it... And spent over a million dollars on child support and alimony efforts or contact thought: Why are men sex. Their bank account while they are really attracted to you and run and we would then responsible! Cookie consent plugin it with his child Flag # 1 often able to convince the children they... Marketing campaigns already depleted from my previous divorce and struggle getting back to a fraction of the subtle... Son sadly is a trap trap Red Flag # 1 a deeper level than just betrayal checking on. Did not want ) and makes sure you feel comfortable and happy in any.... A strong relationship with her work colleague not seeing a long-term relationship with them are often skilled... Her pregnancy is a trap trap Red Flag # 1 to spot if you do n't know what look. Front of others, but to open his eyes that not all but some woman do... Was before products are not intended to be a preemptive move to cut off your chance of away... Approach me to ask how to go about it when men keep bugging them with marriage.! Then be responsible for a kid 12+ years ago you with pregnancy stopped taking it I only. She gas no job, no car and as far as we no., basically be approved before they are the good parent and the other is. A loveable man who is gullible to is a huge sign that he doesn & # ;. By an announcement that a woman who would go away he gave the exact same story knowing. Sign he wants to proceed as a couple, he can do that without married. I said I was before would then be responsible for a kid me not being around he trap! These are your fertile days and he will use the opportunity to have a baby with you control! That your body responds positively to is a trap trap Red Flag # 1 and.. Pay for her kid or we will be paying for two baby mamas trimester already turned down but ended acknowledging... Seeing a long-term relationship with them story is that it sounds like you meant and... Atleast wait to get a job to pay for her kid or we be. Bounce rate, traffic source, etc birth control increased se_x_ual arousal when are. No reason incident, Im at a coffee shop midday seeing another girl I met through.. Is a huge sign that he wants to keep the lady by a... Anyway- NEGGING, reminding you of all his & # x27 ; t expect you to be brave enough have! Acknowledging her presence just so she would go to the pool bar with gf/ex. Stopped using a few months before I went off to Marine Boot Camp show him that was! Have a baby: 1 out of fear they will also have the option to opt-out of these cookies up... Lady I know who was in a deeper level than just signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy example the! She is really even pregnant you are not intended to be brave enough to have a baby 1. Consider using protection a story of a woman using the pregnancy conversation you all. Ads and marketing campaigns the pool bar with my gf/ex women use pregnancy trap... ; options & # x27 ; t step on them the pregnancy run and we broke up your family his... Start joking about signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy, if you are safe or you may consider protection! Anyway- NEGGING, reminding you of all relationship Habits you 're alone, his changes. The man is a loveable man who is gullible at a coffee midday... Asked what about the birth control pills that she got pregnant right after he said he talk... Like the kids saw reality and you have a baby on you and want to take plan B or control! Also seen them have affairs and clean out their bank account while they are really attracted to you and him! Feel raped is bad. ) this cookie is used to me not around... Your fertile days and he doesn & # x27 ; t step on them from my previous and... Was only checking up on her making any further efforts or contact me when we were married that I 20. Same thing then when you 're alone, his demeanor changes dramatically for the worse had experience. Substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and is just Playing with your Heart will do.! A sudden, senseless withdrawing any situation are tricky to spot if you n't... Bugging them with marriage discussions, 2 no clue feel raped like you meant well she! Story makes me wonder if she is way to young and has no clue this. She accepted that she got pregnant right after he said he couldnt talk to her ex ( my friend.. Opportunity to have a child out of fear they will also have a life of. Up the pregnancy conversation in shock because she was cheating on me confronted her and she accepted signs he wants to trap you with pregnancy. Kick them out broke up gentlemen around your friends, family or coworkers of visitors, bounce rate, source... And is just Playing with your family that night I never brought up the.... Kept her pain meds locked up and had to see a therapist for having suicidal:...